Looking Back

I was just looking around and re-reading some of my earlier posts.  Mostly in May 2010.  Boy!  How did I ever keep my chin up during those hard times?  Things were really bad, but I seemed to be doing OK with keeping things light.  Back in the day... I used to come up with fun and completely random things to write about.  I guess I did have more time on my hands.

Now that I'm working I feel disconnected from the artistic side of me a little.  The random thoughts now aren't about silly things anymore. I am happy though.  That's what counts!  I'm working, have a place that I can call "mine" (if you can call a rental home yours), I have a vehicle that works well and gets great gas mileage, and I get to spend some time with the kids now that I have after school help.

Sometimes I think it would be fun to be a stay at home mom again.  Like when I actually let myself see how far behind I am with the house cleaning, laundry, and those kind of things.  Or when I think of all the things I don't get to do like reading, playing my flute...  But a huge part of me likes working.  I have to admit I think I have missed it while I was home the last 10 years.  I started feeling like a different person staying home.  I like who I am while I'm working. 

It could be because I'm on my own again since the divorce, but I think it is partly because I'm working.  I feel more grown up.  More in control.  More me.  I would love to work part-time I think.  I could get the best of both worlds that way.  However, I need the full-time income...so I work full-time.

I am happy with were my life is at this moment.  Would I like a few things to be different?  Of course!  But for now, I'm content.