Sleep

I haven't been sleeping well. Actually, I haven't been sleeping at all. Most of the time I get into a slim state of sleep. My body doesn't know what REM sleep is anymore. Have you ever noticed that the more tired you get the less you can sleep. I think your body goes into some sort of survival mode and just keeps on going, and going, and going like the energizer bunny. Then, when you least expect it you stop moving. Little white tail and all. The drum even stops beating. I know, because it's happened to me before.

Last night I was up until about 4:00 a.m. Yep, and I had to get up at 6:00 a.m. to get the kids ready. It's weird. I was literally wide awake. The night before that I was up until 3:00 a.m. I used to go to bed at 8:00 every night and be asleep by 9:00 easily. I'm someone who really needs sleep otherwise I can't function. Things start to fall apart all around me. I don't remember the last time I went to sleep before mid-night. That isn't good. I can sense the bunny slowing down...help me I'm slowing, slowing, slowing! "What a world! What a world!" I feel like the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz. I probably look like her too. When I turn into a puddle I'm awfully hard to scrape up off the floor.

Usually at night I get my creativity out. I can practically write novels, screen plays, draw awesome pictures, and imagine so many things. But lately night-time seems to be a sad thing instead of the good one. Instead of looking forward to resting and forgetting for a while I'm wide awake and all alone. I don't want to eat for fear of getting fat. I can't read. I don't know why. I just feel like being a vegetable.

Oh well. Tonight they have 5 cake decorating and sugar sculpture competitions on the Food Network and I have a few movies I have been wanting to watch. So, I'll be here and there is an 95% chance I'll be awake all night.

Just kidding! Tonight I'm going to take Ambien and actually sleep before the battery is so low it starts to rust! Believe me you don't want to see me when my battery is rusted. It isn't pretty. And the floor isn't either!

Good Night?

Disappointing

So, I decided to turn my page off for a while. Sorry to disappoint. Actually, I can't imagine why that would be a disappointing to my viewer (Becca). Oh well "it is what it is." That's my saying for the year. Now, I have to come up with something creative to say or write about. Hold onto your socks it's going to be a bumpy ride people.

Games

We played games at my sister-in-laws house tonight. It was soooo much fun! And, we had ice cream for dessert.

Your Music

Please tell me which songs are touching your heart. I want to have them added to my personal music collection so I can think of you while listening to them.

Flute

I play the flute. Well, when I have time and when no one minds the loudness of it. It's not like some other instruments where you can play quietly. The flute is one of those brass instruments that cannot be practiced quietly. This cool picture is of Kokopelli. When I was in High School I saw this figure on a rock in a museum and fell in love with it. Little did I know what it meant and what it represents. He is a flute player, baby maker, seducer and good luck for hunters Kachina. I love it!

Jammies

My daughter is making a pair of Jammie pants in her sewing class. She came home yesterday and said, "Mom! You have to see the Jammie pants I made today." Then she came out with the funnies, most awesome Jammie pants I have ever seen! She used the pattern her teacher gave her and everyone else's turned out the same way. We aren't sure what happened. What we do know is that we all had a very long, very much needed laugh! It was awesome!

The Shopping Experience

YEAH!! I made it. But not unscathed. 11:05 - Depart home: I left late after finding out that my daughter was at a friends house. That worked out OK because she ended up staying there to be "babysat" as they like to call it, but really she just stayed to play. 11:08 - Arrive at store: I go straight in to the laundry detergent isle. I get my soap. On the way back I remember I need mouse, lotion, and of course a Mr. Goodbar for good measure. 11:17 - Checkout line: No one is in line. I think Yes! I can't believe my luck! She rings me up quickly. I go to get out my wallet and OH MAN!! The wallet was at home. How embarrassing! 11:18 - Depart store: drive home to get the wallet. 11:22 - Arrive at store: The check-out lady didn't have anyone in line. She had kept my purchase in her computer. I get out the wallet, pay for the items and leave happy my shopping experience is over. 11:25 - Arrive at gas station - Cherry Pepsi here I come! 11:35 - Arrive at home: Take out purchase. Start another load of laundry. Put the lotion in my purse. Pick up the mousse and it turned out that I had gotten hairspray instead! OH MAN! Now I have to go back. I guess I'll go when I get the kids from school at 2:30. Maybe I'll let Sommer run in and exchange it so I don't have to get out of the car. I hate shopping!!!

Shopping

I hate shopping!!! I have to go at 11:00 or I won't get it done. I need laundry soap to finish what I didn't finish last night because I didn't have any. So, if I don't set a dead line I won't get it done. So, I'm going at 11:00 no matter what. Shower or not. Blah!! It could be scary! If you see someone in a huge grey sweatshirt, ugly hair, and no make-up that would be me. The good news is that I got my shower in last night so I at least won't stink. I hate shopping! Even just for something simple like laundry soap.

Bedtime, Showers, and Laundry

There are a few things better than others about bedtime. One of my favorite things is to have a shower and wash away the problems of the day right before bed. Clean, fresh, smelling all good, being warm, and clean jammies make for good sleeping. There is one problem with this luxury. Children. No matter when actually, children will bang on the door when you are trying to relax. So you wait until after they are asleep which usually is about 10:30 p.m. or so. By then of course you are too tired to do anything, so you rush. That is not relaxing at all.

Tonight I'm staying up to do laundry. I kinda like staying up to do laundry. I can't sleep anyway so I feel like I'm being productive while not sleeping. Benefits? No one can undo my folded clothes. I can get some reading, journal writing, TV watching, and other things done. And it gets done in a timely manner.

Now you might think that staying up to do laundry is crazy and not productive at all. It is crazy and productive. You see, during the day I forget to change the laundry. Then by the time I get to it I have to do a wrinkle release or sometimes it is the next day and I have to wash the clothes in the washer again. If I'm lucky on a good laundry day I can get 3 loads done. If I do it at night I can usually get 5-7 loads done.

Yes. I have that much laundry when my son cleans out his bedroom that has started smelling smells you didn't know were possible.

Tonight I need to do at least 5. Then I will be done! hahahaha!!!!! That's funny. Getting done with laundry is an impossibility.

Songs I Enjoy

Someone once told me that a song will help your mood. So listed to the right are songs that help my mood and show my feelings.

Behind my Back!

When a friend does something that you didn't expect, what do you do? Well, find out what it was, ask tons and tons of questions, and then decide. In this case I hope whatever she did will help in the long run. Just in case, don't leave your cell phone at someone elses house. Thanks Becca!?! Thanks for letting my friend know what my comments mean and that they are directed to them, well all one of them. Directly, indirectly, specifically, especially, and in code? Whatever. I guess this will turn out to be one way to get around things. I am going crazy anyway. Why not post my craziness?

Question of the Day

So, here's the deal. No one is answering the question of the day. Yes, I've only had 2 up, but what fun is it to post a question and get no response? Boring. Of course there may not be anyone actually reading this blog. I can deal with that. Since this blog has become more of an outlet for my thoughts I guess the question doesn't really matter. I'll just write things about whatever I want, whenever I want. Therefor this is the end of the question of the day. Now, you will get the quote or comment of the day. Today, I just want you (or me since no one else is reading my ramblings) to click like or funny or whatever after the post. Make it a wonderful day! ** I just found out that my friend has been posting comments. I just didn't know how to get them or see them. So the question of the day may come back sometime.

Trash Day

So this morning at 6:00 a.m. after a very long night of waking up every 2 hours or so, I heard the trash truck coming. Well there are two things I'm used to every Thursday and those are 1) someone already took the trash out and 2) the trash truck usually comes around 7:00 a.m. It was at 6:05 a.m. that I realized that the trash had in fact not be taken out. So I rush downstairs in my jammies, pulled on my boots, jerked my jacket on, unlock the door, and rushed down the street with the overflowing trashcan sliding around on the street ice, when the head lights of the truck are shinning on me. He was at the house right next to mine and was kind enough to wait until I completed my task. I was quite a sight I'm sure. Hair a mess, no make-up (oh the horror) and in my jammies. The good thing was that I hadn't worn my leopard silk jammies. I had worn my "man" jammies. You know the ones that men usually wear. Well! They're comfortable OK? Tomorrow is recycle day. Let's hope that goes a little better. Because when I got back to bed I was shivering so bad I couldn't go back to sleep. It would have been awesome to call someone though. So I would know I wasn't the only one awake at 6:07 in the morning.

Phone Wallpaper

I changed the wallpaper on my phone yesterday. I was so excited when the kids showed me how to do it a while ago. They also taught me how to take pictures, change my ring tone, make videos, get onto my e-mail, and all of that fun stuff that a small little phone can do. If I knew how to take it from the phone and put it into the blog I would. (Except for the really embarrassing ones. Like when me and my sister-in-law were fencing on the WII.) I'm sure my kids can help with that when they get here. Something to look forward to? We'll see. I personally think that kids these days are born with a microchip in their brains. It helps them use all of the technology we have today. And thank heavens they are also able, however unwilling, to help people like me who struggle with anything outside of Microsoft Office (which I help them with by the way) and the Internet. Maybe part of it is the fact that they get a kick out of watching the faces I make while trying to figure something out. And for some reason there is always a short cut I didn't know about so they do allot of eye rolling too. My 6 year old knows more than she should about how to get into the games she likes to play. And she is very good with a mouse. When I was a kid my mother didn't know how to use the Atari we had. (If you don't know what that is you are way too young to be reading an old woman's ramblings.) We thought she was so funny. It was easy right? Well, that system is so old and not even close to what we have today it is hilarious to my kids. Anyway, since I got my phone in November I have changed the wallpaper often. Each kid gets a week. I take some pictures of them and they can choose which one gets the staring roll on my phone. They love it and look forward to their week. They even like looking to see which picture I have of the other kids. They are all bummed that this week is a picture of a friend, not them. You have to realize at this point that I have tremors. They are a huge part of my life. When I'm cold, nervous, or trying not to drop something it gets messy. You would have thought that my kids would be used to it by now, but every night at dinner they say, "Mom, you're shaking". Then they laugh. What's really sad is that when I'm cold I can't move my lips. Also, I'm emotional or embarrassed they move too much and tend to sort of jerk. I took a picture this week. Actually I took 3. One of them is so blurry that anyone who didn't know what it was a picture of would ask what it was. The other is blurry, but the last one is pretty good for an old shaky woman. So, I made it my wallpaper. I wasn't thinking about the fact that every time I look at my phone I would see that picture. It's good and bad. I also didn't realize how many times I look at my phone each day. But, no matter the feelings I get, the wallpaper on my phone is awesome. One week of each person I care about. Then we will see where we go from there. Maybe a picture of a motorcycle (a red one) or pancakes!

Question #1 - My Answer

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" When I was a kid I wanted to be a nurse. Yes. A nurse. For those of you who don't know me that is an impossibility! For those of you who do, you may be rolling on the floor with laughter. Video tape it and send it to me. I could put the video of you laughing on my blog! Down by the lyrics. If you send me yours, maybe I'll post mine. OK, enough random talk. Back to the fact that I could never be a nurse. I realized my future would be different way back when I dislocated my pinkie finger playing basket ball. It was pointing away from my other fingers. Nasty! Painful! And then in the same school year, while being chased by boys of course, I grabbed the top of a chain link fence and ripped the middle of my finger open. Not pretty. Believe me. By the way, the muscles in your finger are white and can explode with the least amount of pressure. And then again when I almost cut the top of my finger off opening a spam can on Christmas Eve. At this time, I again request that you send me a copy of your laughter. And yes. Spam. We were poor and that was a delicacy in our home! Don't bash it! And we were very young and didn't know better. The list goes on of reasons why I can't be a nurse and those are topics of another day. After the shock of not being able to be a nurse wore off I decided I wanted to be a High School English Teacher. What a cool job! That has never really worn off. That idea is still there in my mind. Again, another story for another day. Then, came track. Running became my life! I was 6th in the State in the 1500 meter and 11th in the 3200 meter at the end of my Freshman year. The first year I had ever run by the way, and I didn't have a coach. I won all of my races during the season over the next three years, except two which is a sore spot with me and I can only discuss it over pancakes. My times were competitive with nationals. By my Junior year I was first in State and ready to move on to better things. I just knew I could get on the 1998 Olympic team and go to Seoul, South Korea. How cool would that be? It would be my senior year and my life would be wonderful! Mary Teresa Decker was my hero! I could watch her run all day. The day she was pushed off the track during a national meet I almost died! I'm sure many of you heard me yelling that day. My Junior year I got a full-ride scholarship to Utah State. I was on cloud 9! I could run and get my teaching degree at the same time all for free! And then I could be a lawyer! (Another long story.) Then it happened. The Senior year curse. I got very, very sick around the end of October. I ended up coughing up blood and almost rupturing a kidney within one month. I was too weak to lift my head. (Thanks Dad for the help! LOVE YOU!) I lived in a small town and we only had one doctor. He took too long to figure out that I had developed asthma. That was it! If I had been diagnosed 3 months earlier I would have been fine. By the time I got on the right inhaler and could walk across a room and breath at the same time, I thought I could get back in shape for cross country which started about February/March at our school. I knew it would be a long road and that it would be hard, but I was willing to do it. The smell of track was in the air as I went to the track one day to start training. Let's just say that one lap around a track is very long when you can't breath and you are very weak. I don't know how I got home that day. I love track so much even now that I can smell it in the air. (If you ran track and loved it you will know what I mean. It is amazing and exhilarating!) I did get to go to State that year, but as a "water girl". Everyone was so supportive and we had lots of fun. At the awards ceremony at the end of the year I got the "Hard Luck Award" instead of a new school record I had gotten for the past 3 years. I couldn't even be at the ceremony because I was sick. I am still a runner, when the weather isn't too cold. I can't breath well in the cold and I cannot stand running on a treadmill! I ran the St. George marathon in October 2004 and it was awesome! I even qualified for the Boston marathon! Then, I wanted to be a mom. It took 4 years to get my sweet baby boy, but it was well worth the wait. Now with 5 kids and all in school I want to go to school myself. So, with the history intact (at least some of it) here is what I want to be when I grow up: A Track Coach of any school or group Run the Boston marathon A web designer/developer A College English Literature and/or Creative Writing Teacher And I want to look 15 years old while doing it. haha! For those of you out there who are trying to find a way for that to be possible, keep me on your list of people who need and want that help. :) Your turn...Question 1 or Question 2 both need answering by my readers. (Becca, that's you. hahaha!!!! I crack myself up!)

Question of the Day #2

So, no takers on the first question eh? Well, here's another one. Lets get some conversation going here people. ;) Q. What do you like to do and what did you do on your first date? No, that is not two questions. What that is is a question within a question that will help clarify the other. No, I'm not crazy. Just weird. And hilarious, going by what my friends, like Becca, say. She is a good friend. She tells me how awesome I am almost every day. Isn't that right? ha! ha!

Friends

Everyone has good friends. Everyone, I hope, has best friends. Friends come and go. Some friends stay forever. Those are the best. Friends make life bearable. Friends tell the truth no matter how ugly. Friends make you feel good about yourself when you can't find one single thing about yourself that's worth feeling good about. Friends help you make decisions. Friends listen without judging. Friends stick up for you. Friends let you cry on their shoulders, even without Kleenex. Friends help you fulfill your dreams. Friends can be found anywhere at anytime. Friends can last forever or just for a few minutes. Friends make lasting impressions and make you part of who you are. Friends are the best! They are always there for you and always love you no matter what. I couldn't live without my friends. I love all of them!

Comments and Questions

I have noticed that there have been some hits on my site. I've given my address to several people, but I want to know who all is coming and what's going on outside of my own little world. When writing, it's nice to know your audience right? Well, at least that's what I've heard. I'm not a writer, just a thinker. My ideas don't always come across the way I think them or feel them. And, my sense of humor tends to be lost on some people. So, I'm going to post a question or two every once in a while and would love to have some comments about them as well as comments on other posts. Let's get started with this question: What do you want to be when you grow up? This is a tough question. There is "What did you want to be" and "What do you want to be"? These are different questions. What's your answer? I'll tell you mine later. Watch for it. It will surprise you.

Proof!

Here's the proof. 17 year old boys are useful if you can get them away from their computers. Because, now mine is upstairs and I can actually use it without worrying about the girls upstairs tearing the place apart and fighting. Yeah! My friend told me that she blogs as an outlet and that it is addicting. Well, she is right. It is sorta like talking to a therapist except it's free! Sorry, but my sessions will be more frequent now. Can you handle it?

Posts

That's it! I have to put my computer up in the bedroom and not in the basement. I can't keep up with everything having to run up and down 3 flights of stairs. It keeps me thin, but it also makes it hard to write what I want and keep the kids from hurting each other and staying in bed at the same time.

I hate to invade on my quiet space, but now that it's mine only...I can do what I want right? And since I want to keep up with my life outside of the house it's a sacrifice I have to make.

Besides, if your creative side comes out at night you do what you have to do and hope for the best. And, I have been down here approximately 3 minutes and have been invaded 3 times already! *this is where I scream jokingly, but not really*

Haircut Anyone?

My 6 year old decided it was time for a haircut today. Thank heavens she didn't cut any bangs and she actually did a pretty good job. She will have to have another 1-2 inches cut off to make it work, but considering all things we will recover. Of course, she is beatiful just like her mom! So even bald would be fine. haha

New Year's 2010

So. I stayed up until 2:00 a.m.! I haven't stayed up that long in over 10 years. There comes a time in a woman's life when staying up late really does take away from beauty sleep. You see, the bags come out under the eyes, the grumpy comes out, the house goes to pot, the kids are grumpier, no food gets cooked, and mom eats more than she should.

So, New Year's Eve was fun then New Year's Day I paid the price. Nothing got done except arguing and sitting around. Oh well. It is what it is and it was fun because we did it together.

My 6 year old fell asleep at 10:00 My 8 year old had strep and cried all night My 11 year old made it until 1:00 then walked to her room while sleeping My 13 year old did homework until 5 (she is behind..haha)

It was a fun time. Can't wait until next year! Yeah...we'll see.

To all of you friends who went to bed before 2:00 :: You are all wimps! I expect more from you in 2011! :: Actually next year I want to have someone with me as well as my children.